No Call No Show

I have not met as many lawyers as I have met.

Whoa that’s deep.

Let me explain.

 I respect the appointment, I do. I have to respect it. Otherwise I will just sit at my desk all day long and write blog posts.

(Bosses: that’s not happening right now)

Now that I think about it. Every Blog post I have written is connected by a no call no show in some way. If I was going on appointments all day, I wouldn’t have time to write anything.

 But I need appointments. It’s expensive living in NYC. I need the appointments to sell to lawyers and sustain my Jewish Upper East Side lifestyle.  I have a kid for Christ’s sake.

I never met 1783 he ended up not really being lawyer 1783 at all. He is somewhere in-between 1782 and 1783. Maybe that’s what this whole cloud thing is about.

 So I show up at what would have been 1783 and I let the secretary kindly know that I am here to see the lawyer. As soon as I open my mouth, I can see her face start to change. It’s like slow motion, the nose scrunches up, the eyes get squinty, the cheekbones are raised; and before you know it, I am looking at Bill Cosby. In sales, I see this face almost every day.

 Cosby wut

What’s the point of this face? Is meant for me?  Is it for herself? Is it for the other people waiting in the lobby?

My conversation:

“Yes I have an appointment today at 2:00 pm”

“But Mr. 1783 is in court, he’s not here”

“Can I reschedule for next week?

“Only 1783 has access to his calendar, you will have to call back and reschedule.”

 And Cut! That’s where this sad little exchange ends. There will be no rescheduled meeting. I know it. The secretary knows it. Cosby knows it. The lawyer knows it, and he doesn’t even know it.

 I understand it rained today, which does amplify the difficulty of going on a meeting for both parties. Now that I think of it, NYC does have a similarity to OZ; After all, maybe lawyers are more like wicked witches than I thought.

 So what is a NO Call NO Show?

The lawyer didn’t call to cancel the appointment, and he didn’t show up for the appointment. Maybe we shouldn’t make appointments.

George Costanza never liked them. He is infamously quoted saying, “I don’t think I’ve ever been to an appointment in my life where I wanted the other guy to show up.”

But poor Georgie never amounted to anything except for the one day he did everything opposite. So Lawyers, attorneys, counselor, Barristers, or whatever you like to call yourselves. Don’t be like George.


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1 Response to No Call No Show

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