Mental Masturbation

It took a day like yesterday to spark another blog post. 5 meetings, 5 extraordinary sound bites.

Lawyer 1608, “Do you need me to stamp something for you to prove you were here?”

Lawyer 1609, “I don’t need a website, I only use the internet for porn.”

Lawyer 1610, I actually didn’t get a sound bite from him. I walked into his office, and he was wearing a Christmas tie, (Dancing elves and Christmas trees to be exact) I have a firm policy of not meeting with lawyers that wear Holiday ties more than 3 months after said holiday. I immediately turned around and went to my next appointment. Of course, had this been last week, we would have had the meeting, and I would have had the opportunity to hear St. Nick ESQ. give me a “HO, HO, HO” or “have you been a good little boy?” quote.

Lawyer 1611, “All of my degrees and accolades are used as mental masturbation for my adversaries .”

Lawyer 1612, Half way through our meeting, in the attorney’s very modest office, his 1988 Bell Atlantic Signature phone rang; 1612 excused himself, picked up the phone and said, “My Demand? 5 million! That’s my demand!” hung up, licked his fingers, straightened his hair, and without missing a beat continued with our meeting.

I can’t wait to see what today brings; One thing is certain, I’m not going to be thinking about Attorney awards and accomplishments for a while….

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One Response to Mental Masturbation

  1. Jon Juan says:

    Lawyer 1608 sounds awesome. Stealing that.

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